If You Can Call It Life
by Erin Jessica Durango
Summary: What would had happened if Serena never found out she was Sailor Moon? A small diary on how not being a superhero CAN affect your life.
1. What My Life Is I Suppose

Hihi all! This story came to me today as I was taking a test...(damn WASL)...anyway, enjoy!  
  
~Erin  
  
DISCLAIMER: I do not own Sailor Moon...though I do draw them well....  
  
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If You Call It Life  
  
by Erin Jessica Durango  
  
  
  
4/24/02  
  
  
  
Bitch.  
  
That word ruined my day today.  
  
Several times over.  
  
Mr. Coslov called me a bitch. My own teacher.  
  
Sure I'm loud.  
  
Crabby.  
  
Sarcastic.  
  
Overly-enthusiastic.  
  
But I'm sure no bitch.  
  
Ok, so maybe I'm over exaggerating.  
  
Here's the whole story:  
  
Today in math, Molly called me a bitch.  
  
So she's my best friend. It hurt a but, but it's all forgiven. But for fun, I told on her to Mr. Coslov.  
  
His exact response:  
  
"Well, some people deserve it."  
  
Ouch.  
  
I needed ice to heal that burn.  
  
I just can't believe I didn't stand up for myself.  
  
Molly says I have low self-esteem.  
  
Maybe she's right. I wouldn't know.  
  
That Senior Darien pushed me down the stairs again today. He said I act too much like a crybaby.  
  
Maybe he's right. I wouldn't know.  
  
That smart girl Ami got 154% on her test in English. Then she made fun of me for getting a 48%. She called me stupid.  
  
Maybe she's right. I wouldn't know.  
  
That popular girl Mina with the pretty hair laughed at me today. One of her friends tripped me and my books went flying down the hall. She called me klutzy.  
  
Maybe she's right. I wouldn't know.  
  
That girl who's really athletic...Lita? She laughed at me too. In gym class I couldn't climb the rope. She called me weak.  
  
Maybe she's right. I wouldn't know.  
  
This girl named Raye just transferred to my school. I tried to be friends with her and sat with her at lunch. She said she wasn't friends with losers or piggy eaters.  
  
Maybe she's right. I wouldn't know.  
  
After school, I get so lonely.  
  
I need someone to love me and listen to me in return.  
  
Not like Mom or Dad or Sammy.  
  
They don't understand.  
  
Like a sister.  
  
But I don't have a sister.  
  
I don't have friends.  
  
I don't have a boyfriend.  
  
I don't even have a good enough family.  
  
Maybe I should get a cat.  
  
But Dad's allergic.  
  
So I'm doomed to live my life...  
  
without anyone.  
  
I wish that someday...  
  
I could maybe  
  
become someone  
  
who defends herself  
  
isn't a crybaby  
  
isn't stupid  
  
isn't klutzy  
  
isn't weak  
  
isn't piggy  
  
isn't a loser...  
  
Yeah right.  
  
"Find the true meaning of life Serena..." ~~~~my brain to me.  
  
Yeah.  
  
If you call this life.  
  
~Serena  
  
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So what did you think? I tried really hard. Its supposed to be sad. Can you really imagine the Sailor Scouts like that if they were never Sailor Scouts? Anyway, review. Tell me what you think! Also check out my other stories. Thanks!  
  
~Erin 


	2. Could Have Been A Good Day

DISCLAIMER: I do not own anything but the plot.  
  
  
  
If You Can Call it Life  
  
By Erin Jessica Durango  
  
  
  
Tuesday, April 23rd  
  
The bell rings.  
  
I don't want to go to my next class.  
  
Gym class.  
  
The gym class from hell.  
  
I just know that everyone will laugh at me. Lita will call me weak.  
  
And then I'll run crying to the locker rooms.  
  
And I'll run into Darien.  
  
And he'll laugh at me, and call me a crybaby.  
  
Which will make me angry, so I won't be paying attention, and I'll run into Mina and her friends, and one of them will trip me  
  
And I'll fall.  
  
And they'll laugh. Mina will call me klutzy.  
  
And I'll be so cautious of how I walk so I don't trip and fall, and I'll walk into English class and end up failing my test.  
  
And everyone will laugh. And Ami will call me stupid.  
  
And I'll be so concerned with how I talk around people, afraid of sounding dumb, and I'll end up coming off as stuck up.  
  
And Raye will be rude to me. And she won't be my friend.  
  
Well, ready for gym class.  
  
And here I am, after gym class, hiding in a corner with my diary, hoping and praying I won't run into Mina and her friends.  
  
Because I already ran into Darien. And today, instead of crybaby, he called me a bitchy freshman baby.  
  
Haha.  
  
Not funny.  
  
At all.  
  
So I crawl out of my little cubby hole, looking, waiting, afraid.  
  
Molly's not here.  
  
She said she'd be down in a minute.  
  
That's what you get when you have a 'best friend' who's 'too cool' for you.  
  
I could be cool.  
  
Ha.  
  
No I couldn't.  
  
So I walk slowly to English class, dreading a pop quiz that I know will take Ami 5 seconds to finish and me 50 minutes.  
  
But when I get there, someone has taken my seat.  
  
So what do I do?  
  
Ami waves at me and calls me over.  
  
'I saved you a seat'.  
  
Why?  
  
Did she have something evil planned?  
  
Was she trying to be nice?  
  
Did she want to be friends?  
  
I am thinking too hopefully?  
  
I go sit down and stare at her.  
  
She smiles at me then listens to the teacher.  
  
Is she really nice?  
  
Or is she trying to stay face for the rest of the class?  
  
Hmmmm….  
  
At lunch I walk into the cafeteria.  
  
Raye already has several people sitting with her, so there is no way in hell I'm going over there.  
  
I see Ami eating lunch by herself.  
  
She waves me over and smiles.  
  
I walk over.  
  
But I don't smile.  
  
Cause this isn't real.  
  
But it is.  
  
So I sit down, and we talk about class.  
  
That's when her friends come over.  
  
Lita, the girl from gym class.  
  
Mina and her groupies.  
  
And I stand up to leave, but I don't go far because Mina's friend Brock trips me and I fall on my face and my lunch flies all over me.  
  
And they laugh.  
  
And I run.  
  
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Oh. That is so sad. Anyways, review please!  
  
~Erin 


	3. Finally, The End

Hello everyone. This is the third and final chapter of "If you can call it Life". I realized the other day that it just kinda sat there, so I decided to finish the story this way. Love, Erin DISCLAIMER: I do not own anything but the plot ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
April 25th, 2002 Could they care any less? Would they even notice if I were gone? To them I'm just their target The target they aim all their hatred at. Do they not realize that I am human? That I have feelings, and when they Randomly fling their angry taunts at me I do get hurt? My days get no better. Instead they grow gradually worse. There is nothing- nothing at all that Can save me from my emptiness My loneliness The hurt and the pain. Nothing can save me from myself. Ami tried to be my friend But the rest of them ruined it! They ruined one of my only chances At happiness. They don't care. Haha. Oh, but they will care soon. What will happen when they find out? What I did? Will they feel bad? Regret everything they've said and Done to me? Oh, I'll be laughing as they all cry. Miserable for making me do this. Will Ami wish she never called me dumb? Wish she tried harder to be my friend? Will Raye feel stupid? Regret never giving me a chance? Will Lita hurt because she called me weak- And in turn see she was the weak one? Oh, will Mina feel bad too? For tripping me And taunting me? And then realize she did this? And Darien's thoughts will burn in his mind- He'll know he pushed me one too many times. He'll know he pushed me over the edge. Haha. Wait until they found out what I've done. I hate them all. So after school, I decided it was time. I have a little cupboard in the bathroom Full of medicine. Haha. Wait till they find out what I've done. Ten of the purple ones, six of the blue. I didn't count how many of the red- there were Far too many to count. Haha. Wait until they find out what I've done. Maybe over 70 pills in all. It took a Lot of water to get them down my Dry, dry throat. Oh, wait until they see. That was half an hour ago. My visions Getting hazy. I'm finding it hard to breathe. I'm getting really sleepy. I'll be laughing when they find me Here. Asleep And never to wake again. Haha. Wait until they all find out. Wait until they see. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ I know, creepy, isn't it? I wrote this at 12:30 at night, and I felt, hey, this story needs a creepy ending. I felt it would bring a sense of realism to the fact that this does happen to kids everyday. Be nice to others, because you never know when YOU may be the cause of someone's bad day, or someone's death. I love you all, Erin 


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